


I'm Right Here

by redriotoperator



Series: Royal Bastards AU [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, iwa and oikawa are the only people in this technically but the others appear in dreams, let iwaizumi be comforted dammit, major character death but in dreams so does it count, rated teen for depressing nightmares and iwa's proclivity for cussing, royal bastards universe, sorta - Freeform, you should probably read the main fic before this one to understand literally anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26763424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redriotoperator/pseuds/redriotoperator
Summary: Not even time can heal all wounds, but the people around you can make them more bearable.Alternatively: Weeks, months, and even a year after the fact, Oikawa and Iwaizumi deal with the repercussions of The Letter Incident, but they deal with them together and that's what counts.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Royal Bastards AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939171
Comments: 1
Kudos: 54





	1. Oikawa

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Bowie here!  
> Long time no talk, eh? So I found myself missing writing this universe immensely pretty much the moment we finished What Binds Us Together and really wanted to hop into something new. Then my Spotify Discover Weekly introduced me to 'He Died In Dreams' by Ross Wylde and this idea walloped me in the head. I tried to work on other things, truly, as I have an entire list of fics I need to write, but I just couldn't focus on anything else until I got this out of my system, so,,,, here!  
> I love me some good emotional hurt/comfort and I know y'all do too so enjoy!

_ He was alone. It was dark and he was cold. There was no telling where or what time it was, the overwhelming inky black void clouding his entire line of sight. _

_ “Hello?” He called out, squinting against the darkness. At the lack of an answer, he tried again. _

_ “Hello?” _

_ His voice echoed back to him. The room began to shake, the void dissolving. He threw up his hands, blocking the sudden onslaught of blinding white light. _

_ When he opened his eyes again — or for the first time, the darkness made him unsure — he was met with the gardens in the pale early morning light. Brows furrowing, he looked around. Around him stood people, some strangers, and some familiar faces. Yahaba stood to his side. Mattsun stood to his side. Kindaichi stood to his side. They stared forward, blankly, dressed entirely in black. He looked down and recognized his own black attire. Raising his eyes back up, he sucked in a sharp breath. _

_ In front of him, in a line among the flowers, sat four caskets — sleek, black, and out of place. There was a hand on his back, pushing him forward. _

_ “No,” He whispered, “No no no.” _

_ He shook his head vehemently, struggling against the forceful hands. It was useless. Getting one more violent shove, they sent him stumbling toward the nearest casket. He shut his eyes. _

_ He knew what was in there —  _ who _ was in there. He didn’t need to see it. He didn’t need confirmation. He felt his eyes open anyways, unable to control his own body. A choked sob erupted from his throat and he reached out a shaky hand. _

_ Iwaizumi’s skin was pale — too pale — and cold, no longer the human furnace he had grown so accustomed to. His eyes were closed and peaceful, with no sign of the familiar furrow of his brows.  _

_ He reached out further, aiming shaky fingers toward straight, black hair. The moment his hand made the first brush of Iwaizumi’s bangs, the scene began to change. The caskets moved out of reach, snapped shut. He looked around, noticing the crowd disappear. The familiar faces of his friends vanished. _

_ He looked ahead. The caskets were gone. At his feet sat a single, marble stone, the face engraved with a name. The inky blackness surrounded him again and the cold returned. He was alone. _

Oikawa’s eyes snapped open and he shot up, chest heaving. The room around him was bathed in darkness, a sliver of moonlight shining through a gap in the curtains. He turned, looking to the right side of the bed, expecting soft snores, and body heat, and — it was empty. Reaching out a shaky hand, he felt the empty spot of the bed. It was cool and at the revelation, he choked, eyes welling up with a fierce current of tears. Oikawa hunched in on himself, balling the blanket in his fists as he laid on his side. Burying his face in the sheets, he sobbed openly, uncaring of his volume. The tears streamed heavily down his cheeks, staining the bed. He shuddered, gripping the duvet tighter and curling even further into a ball.

_ Alone,  _ his brain chanted,  _ Cold and dark and alone _ . He choked loudly before whimpering, a fresh wave of tears filling his eyes.  _ Cold and dark and alone. Cold and dark and alo— _

“Tooru?  _ Shit _ , Tooru.”

The bed dipped behind him, loud creak muffled by the sound of his tears. A hesitant yet warm hand pressed to his back, another one settling on his thigh. 

“Tooru, baby, what’s wrong? Breathe, okay? Breathe.”

Oikawa sucked in a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut. The hand on his back rubbed soothing circles, the pressure a distraction to ground himself with. After a few more minutes of quiet hiccups and shaky breaths, Oikawa shuddered once more before sinking back, leaning into the hands pressed against him. They continued their ministrations for another moment before stilling. The body behind him shifted, leaning closer. Quietly, it asked,

“Can you sit up, baby? Can you look at me?”

Oikawa hesitated before nodding weakly. He pushed himself up, letting the blanket drop around his waist, and turned toward the voice. Iwaizumi stared at him, eyes wide and brows furrowed with concern. Upon seeing his face, Oikawa felt his eyes burn once again and he collapsed forward, pressing himself into Iwaizumi. Wrapping his arms around the brunette, Iwaizumi rocked them slowly back and forth, pressing kisses to Oikawa’s hair.

“What’s wrong, Tooru? What happened?”

Oikawa shivered and gripped Iwaizumi’s shirt tighter.

“I… I thought-”

“Breathe,” Iwaizumi soothed, kissing his head again. Oikawa sucked in a deep breath before continuing.

“I had a nightmare where you- where the letter was… it was real. It was all real. And there were these- these caskets and you were…”

He hiccuped, squeezing his eyes shut.

“And then when I woke up and looked around, you were-”

“I wasn’t in here,” Iwaizumi finished, guilt settling like a heavy stone in his chest. Oikawa nodded against him, sucking in a breath. Iwaizumi tightened his hold on the taller man, whispering apologies into Oikawa’s curls.

“I thought you had  _ died _ ,” He choked out, voice cracking, and Iwaizumi felt his heart break. He gave one more squeeze before pulling his arms back, placing them on Oikawa’s hips to rub small circles into the skin above his waistband.

“C’mon, sit up. Can you look at me?” He asked, gently. Slowly, Oikawa peeled himself from his chest and sat up. He opened his eyes, lashes laden with tears, and Iwaizumi sighed. Raising one hand, he cupped Oikawa’s cheek.

“I’m right here,” he said, matter-of-fact, “You can see me, right? I’m right here.”

Oikawa nodded, though the wary shake of his eyes gave away just how on edge he still was. Using his other hand, Iwaizumi grasped one of Oikawa’s and raised it, pressing it to his chest, right over his heart. He felt Oikawa tense up slightly, face flushing before Iwaizumi stroked the back of his hand with his thumb.

“Do you feel that?”

Oikawa nodded.

“That means I’m alive, yeah? I’m right here, Tooru. You can see me. You can hear me. You can feel me,” he emphasized his point by leaning forward until they were nose to nose, “I’m okay and I’m  _ right here _ .”

Oikawa shuddered, pressing closer, knocking their foreheads together lightly. His eyes fluttered shut as he breathed, air fanning across Iwaizumi’s face.

“Thank you,” he whispered. Iwaizumi squeezed his hand and hummed. After a moment, Oikawa sat back, eyes opening. Iwaizumi watched him, the worried knit of his brows softening as some of the familiar light returned to the king’s brown eyes.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said quietly, “I know I’m an ugly crier.”

Iwaizumi huffed a laugh, running a thumb under Oikawa’s eyes. Oikawa leaned into the touch.

“Don’t apologize. I fell in love with all of you — that includes the ugly crying.”

Oikawa snorted before turning to press a gentle kiss to the palm of his hand.

“I’m still not used to your brand of romance.”

Iwaizumi grinned.

“You’ll get there. Now come on,” He shifted, pulling Oikawa closer, “Time to sleep.”

He laid down and opened his arms. Oikawa bit his lip, hesitant. Giving his hand a squeeze, Iwaizumi said,

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

Nodding, Oikawa laid down, settling against Iwaizumi’s chest. Iwaizumi wrapped his arms tightly around him, one hand coming up to brush gently through his curls. Oikawa sighed into the touch before angling upward to press a series of warm kisses to his jaw. Iwaizumi flushed and smiled, squeezing him tight.

_ He’s right here _ , Oikawa thought, a small smile gracing his lips.  _ He’s safe, he’s warm, and he’s right here. _

  
  
  



	2. Iwaizumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with Iwa's bit more than I'd like to admit to-- and yet it still ended up longer than Oikawa's. I'm just rolling with it at this point.

_ The scene was familiar. They were crowded in the castle entrance, tension high and hearts racing. The others were crying, tear-streaked faces pressed into their hands as he looked on, concerned. _

_ “Where’s Oikawa?” He asked. They looked up at him in silence. His heart stilled, eyes widening. Without a second thought, he ran out of the room and into the narrow hallway. The slamming of his feet against the linoleum was deafening, each step ticking away at an invisible clock in his mind. _

_ He didn’t check the gardens this time, or the library, or the kitchens. He knew where Oikawa would be. _

_ As he ran, the hallways seemed to narrow and stretch longer than he remembered. Lamps flickered, casting wide shadows across his field of vision, bathing him in darkness. _

_ “Oikawa?” He called out, heart hammering. Something was wrong, something was painfully wrong. The hallways weren’t this long; he should be there by now. He called out again, to no avail. _

_ The lights went out fully and he stopped. He looked around, eyes straining against the void. He wasn’t sure which way was right anymore, the familiar path to the king’s bedroom being lost to the darkness. He shook his head. Not wanting to hesitate any longer, he continued running. _

_ All at once, the scene changed. A light flickered on in the distance, illuminating familiar grand doors. Relief washed over him as he neared them at last. Slamming his fist against the doors, he called out once again. At the silence, he went to knock again, only for the doors to slowly creak open on their own. He stepped back, hesitant, as the darkness of the room spilled into the dimly lit hall. He took a step forward, breaching the threshold. _

_ “Oikawa?” _

_ A candle burned on his large wooden desk, almost entirely burnt out. He picked it up shakily before turning, holding it out in front of him, and walking in the direction of the bed. _

_ A rough outline of a body could be made out against the darkness and he stepped closer, sucking in a sharp breath. He held out the candle and felt his breath catch in his throat. Barely illuminated on the bed laid Oikawa, hair sprawled across a pillow and mouth slightly agape. His brown eyes, usually so warm and bright, were dull — lifeless — and stared at nothing. His arm dangled off of the bed, fingertips brushing the shattered remains of a teacup. _

_ Dropping to his knees, he let out a choked sob. The candle fell from his grip, crashing to the floor, and snuffing out — bathing them in darkness. _

Gasping, Iwaizumi jolted awake, heart stuttering. His eyes scanned the dark room frantically, unable to discern shapes from shadows. Something shifted to his right and he swallowed hard before turning. Curled up against the darkness was Oikawa, sleeping soundly, his back facing Iwaizumi as he clung tightly to his pillow.

Scooting forward, Iwaizumi pulled the brunette close, wrapping his shaky arms around Oikawa’s solid form. Oikawa shifted closer in his sleep, letting out a soft sigh. Iwaizumi pressed his face to the back of his neck, inhaling sharply before littering the skin with barely-there kisses. He squeezed the king tight, letting out a shaky exhale.  _ He’s right here, _ he reminded himself.  _ He’s safe; he’s right here. _

The images from the nightmare flashed across his mind, glimpses of what could have happened — what  _ almost _ happened. The dread that filled him was overwhelming and he shuddered hard, pressing himself impossibly closer. 

Oikawa groaned at the pressure and shifted, letting out a groggy sound.

“Iwa-chan?” He murmured. Iwaizumi shuddered again, willing himself to calm down. Bringing a hand up to the arm taut around him, Oikawa’s eyes opened.

“You’re shaking,” he whispered in concern, “Hajime, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” Iwaizumi replied. He cringed, hearing the unconvincing waver of his voice. Oikawa hummed.

“You’re not. Let me up, let me see you.”

Defeated, Iwaizumi loosened his grip and Oikawa turned, propping himself up on one arm. Even in the dark, Iwaizumi could see the fierce sparks dancing in the brunette’s eyes as he looked him over. Brows furrowed, Iwaizumi ducked away from his scrutinizing gaze. Oikawa sighed and brought a hand up to cup his cheek, stroking the skin softly with his thumb.

“Nightmare?” He asked quietly. Iwaizumi nodded, refusing to look up.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He knew he should. Talking about these things was a good way to work through them, and wasn’t that what he was always telling Oikawa? But he had never been the eloquent one of the two — any thoughts he wanted to share got jumbled and awkward on their way out. He wasn’t good at talking about things, especially not things that upset him.

The distress must have shown on his face because the next thing he knew, Oikawa shifted and pulled the two of them to sit up. He sat with his legs folded underneath him before leaning forward and cupping Iwaizumi’s hands within his own.

“Take your time,” he whispered. Iwaizumi looked up then, eyes flitting around Oikawa’s soft yet concerned features, before returning his gaze to their hands. He took in a shaky breath.

“It was… about that day. When we got back, after the letter.”

Oikawa sucked in a sharp breath but nodded, squeezing his hands. After a moment of pause, Iwaizumi continued.

“We were —  _ I _ was — too late. When we got back, I was too late.”

“What do you mean?”

Iwaizumi shook his head hard before looking up, frantic eyes meeting Oikawa’s concerned ones. He clutched tighter to their hands.

“When I got to our — your room, you had already been- were already- and I- I found you but I was  _ too late _ ,” his voice broke then, heat burning behind his eyes, “I was too late.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Oikawa tugged him forward, wrapping his arms tightly around the knight. Iwaizumi rested his forehead on Oikawa’s shoulder, trying to calm his ragged breathing. Oikawa stayed silent, bringing one hand up to card through his hair, letting the other run softly up and down his spine. Iwaizumi shut his eyes tight, forcing himself to take slow, deliberate breaths. His hands hung limply at his sides, barely grazing Oikawa’s thighs. Slowly, his racing heart began to calm down and he raised his shaky hands to return the hug, holding tight to Oikawa’s shirt. He breathed in deeply, letting the warmth and scent of the taller man fully encapsulate him.

After a few more minutes of silent comfort, Oikawa turned to press his lips against Iwaizumi’s temple.

“Hajime, can you sit back for me?”

Weakly, Iwaizumi nodded and leaned back, not removing his hands from Oikawa’s sides. Tilting his head slightly, Oikawa gave him a soft smile.

“Do you remember what you told me when I started having nightmares about this?” He asked. Iwaizumi fixed him with a confused look, causing a chuckle to bubble out of Oikawa’s chest. He shook his head.

“It  _ was  _ almost a year ago, so I guess I shouldn’t expect you to remember it much.”

He shifted, removing one of Iwaizumi’s hands from his hip and bringing it up, dusting his lips along the knuckles before settling it right over his heart. Faintly, Iwaizumi could remember doing something similar, but it was a hazy, distant memory. Oikawa looked at him again.

“You feel that, right? That means I’m alive. You weren’t too late, Hajime. I’m right here. You can see me. You can hear me,” He leaned forward, pressing their lips together briefly, “You can feel me. I’m safe and I’m right here, because of  _ you _ .”

Iwaizumi let out a shaky breath, squeezing Oikawa’s hand. Oikawa squeezed back, bringing his free hand up to cup Iwaizumi’s cheek. He leaned into the touch, sighing.

“I love you,” Oikawa whispered. Iwaizumi blinked his eyes open slowly and hummed, nuzzling further into his hand.

“I love you too.”

Oikawa laughed lightly before releasing their intertwined hands. He leaned forward, brushing his lips along Iwaizumi’s forehead, the spot between his brows that was always creased in concern, and down the bridge of his nose before dragging to the apple of his cheek. Grunting, Iwaizumi raised a hand to the back of his neck and pulled him in, slotting their lips together. Oikawa laughed into the kiss before melting into it. He carded his free hand through Iwaizumi’s messy hair once again before pulling back, a lopsided grin on his face.

“Impatient, much?” He teased. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes but was unable to fight off a smile of his own. Before he could retort, Oikawa pulled him back in. They kissed languidly as they settled back down into bed. Iwaizumi wrapped an arm around Oikawa’s waist, tugging him as close as possible.

They pulled back and Oikawa grinned at the lazy smile that crawled across Iwaizumi’s face. Iwaizumi watched him fondly, eyes hazy with love and exhaustion. Pressing one final kiss to his jaw, Oikawa rested his head against Iwaizumi’s chest, right over his heart.

“Thank you, Tooru,” Iwaizumi whispered against the dark. Oikawa hummed softly, nestling further into him.

“Of course,” He breathed.

As the night stretched on, the pair fell into a deep sleep, bodies, and hearts entwined. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Socials!  
> insta: diamondredriot  
> tumblr: oikashima

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! It was kinda a struggle to write but I was running so heavily on caffeine and a desire to write that I cranked it out relatively quickly (for me). As usual, here are my socials, feel free to check me out!
> 
> insta: diamondredriot  
> tumblr: oikashima


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